Hurry The Hell Up, Already!!

I am not, by nature, a patient man and while I keep hearing about how the pace of modern life has supposedly sped up so much in the 21st century, you wouldn't know it by some of the slowpokes and timewasters, who must be carrying some turtle DNA in their genes, that I inevitably get stuck behind, especially when I'm late or pressed for time.

Why, for instance, do some people take so blasted long at ATMs? One time I was waiting to use the cash machine at my bank and waited for five minutes with just one person in front of me using the machine. If the operation he needed to perform was so complex and time-consuming he should have waited until the bank was open and gone inside so that the rest of us who actually know how to use an ATM could get out cash and get on with our business. After this guy finally finished or gave up and left and it was my turn, I timed myself. I was in and out with my money and on my way to the BP to buy cigarettes in about a minute and a half, which is as it should be. Anyone who takes longer than three minutes at an ATM should have their card shredded into razor-sharp shards which would be spit back at him at high speed, causing severe bleeding and permanent, ugly scarring. That would teach them a lesson. Pain is the only thing these morons understand.