Sight Unseen Reviews: Mid-Season "Reality"

Yes, I did not or have not watched these shows, and, quite frankly have no intention to, but that shall not stop me from giving you my opinions on them anyway.

Grease: You're The One That I Want: The movie version of Grease may be one of the worst films ever made. It's certainly one of the worst I've ever suffered through. Therefore, I just don't give a crap about the latest American Idol wannabe designed to cast the leads in a new Broadway revival of the musical. Besides, why bother with Idol imposters when there's only a week left until the real thing starts up again?

Armed and Famous: I can just hear this being pitched as "The Surreal Life meets COPS." Five washed up celebrities who'll apparently do anything to get back on TV train to become real cops in a Midwest city. To me, the concept sounds more like something you'd find on VH-1 or some other cheesy basic cable outfit rather than CBS, which was once known as "The Tiffany Network" due to its reputation for quality programming. (Of course, you've got to ask yourself if that rep was ever really accurate when you consider that this is the network that aired Gilligan's Island. I love the show, but you've got to admit that it's no Masterpiece Theatre.)

By the way, speaking of COPS, did you catch the hilarious COPS parody on last Thursday's episode of My Name Is Earl? It was one of the best episodes yet of the best sitcom on network TV. I'll you write now that my faith in the intelligence of the American people will be forever shattered if Earl does not win "Favorite TV Comedy" at the People's Choice Awards tomorrow night, especially considering that the other two nominees are the unfunny and uninspired The King of Queens, and the bland and insipid Two and a Half Men.