Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Random Bits Of Weirdness

Frankly, friends, I got nada today, so I've been poking around looking for a couple of stories to make a few short, snarky cheapshots at.
Before, I get to that, I want to correct a mistake I made in Sunday's post on giant carrots. Apparently, according to frequent Word From On High commenter and annoying know it all Eric Clark, there are, in fact, carrots featured in the Veggie Tales videos. Being a forty year old man with no kids, I haven't seen the entire Veggie Tales canon, and was basing my erroneous conclusion on the few videos that I've seen with my sister's girls. However, the appearance of a carrot in what is ostensibly a humorous setting does reinforce the main point of the entry.
Moving on, here are some stories I found while searching desperately for something to write about today:
It seems Ryan Seacrest and Paula Abdul aren't on speaking terms these days. No big loss, really. I'd be surprised if either of them actually had anything interesting to say. And I'll bet Simon wishes that both of them would not talk to him.
Next up: Did you know that we are in the midst of TV Turn-Off Week? This week, until Sunday, we are encouraged to turn off our idiot boxes and do something besides sit on the couch and stare at the tube, such as read or even, as unthinkable as it may seem, talk to each other. Yeah, I know. Sounds crazy to me, too. Personally, I plan to pay as much attention to TV Turn-off Week as I do the Great American Smokeout; that is to say, none at all. My plans for this evening actually include enjoying a cheap cigar while watching American Idol and wishing Randy Jackson would just stop talking to anyone.
Gee, remember when it was hot young artist Micheal Jackson that nearly washed up former superstar Paul McCartney turned to in order to give his sagging career a boost. The shoe, it would seem, is now firmly tied onto the other foot.
Finally, there's really nothing I can say about this story, as it's ridiculous enough on its own:
A man in San Francisco was locked out of his home and attempted to get in by going down the chimney, after first removing all his clothes in order to reduce friction and make his descent easier. Didn't work. He became trapped in the chimney and police, thinking a burglary was in progress, had to be called to remove him.

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