Access Investigates

For tomorrow night's program, "Access investigates who is profitting from Anna Nicole (Smith)'s death," promised the promo for Access Hollywood at the end of its weekend edition.

Please, Access Hollywood, please tell us just who is attempting to cash in on the sudden and mysterious death of Anna Nicole Smith? Who?

What entertainment "news" show used the tragedy as an excuse to devote an entire hour to rehashing the details of earlier celebrity deaths from James Dean to River Phoenix? Who is giving the story far more air time than it merits? Who promises to cover every aspect of Anna Nichol's life and death, no matter how minute? Who begins the promo for their next episode with the line "The Anna Nicole Smith tragedy moves to the Bahamas," which sounds more appropriate for a story about Spring Break?

Who?

Well, I'll be damned if ain't Access Hollywood, that's who. Rival Entertainment Tonight is right by their side in the race to exploit the story, digging up every bit of footage they had of Smith to fill up their own weekend hour. Even Dateline: NBC devoted a good chunk of its show last night to raking over all the sordid details surrounding the former Playboy Playmate's life and death.

That Access Hollywood's "investigation" will yield the same conclusion, of course, is highly unlikely.