Tuesday, February 14, 2006

The Vast Valentine's Day Conspiracy

This might strike you as--what's the word I'm looking for? Oh, yea--completely freakin' nuts, but I have long thought that Valentine's Day is a conspiracy against me, designed to make me more depressed than I, by nature, usually am by reminding that I am, always have been and always will be unloved and utterly alone in the world. The conspiracy is run by the Hallmark corporation which, I have concluded, is headed by a cabal of my ex-girlfriends and other women from my past led by a particularly evil wench from my college days who I shall refer to here only by her initials: C.K. (but if you're reading this, "C.K.", you know who you are and now you know that I'm onto you and your nefarious scheme!)
Crazy? No more crazy than believing that a "lone gunman" with a "magic bullet" killed JFK.


Larned said...

I think we know now that it was VP Cheney that shot JFK by accident....

Ray "!!" Tomczak said...

And the weird thing is...this incident took place near Dallas...does that city exert some weird influence over Cheney?
Btw..larned, thanks for your comment, and thanks for reading TWFOH