What I Won't Be Watching Tonight

After nearly four months, the improbable rise of Taylor Hicks reaches its crescendo tonight and tomorrow as the fifth season of American Idol concludes. After Mandisa left several weeks ago, I half jokingly predicted that Taylor would be taking what I had thought would be her place in the final two. Serious or not, it turns out that I was right. Of course, I was still convinced he'd be facing off against Chris Daughtry, so I won't be quitting my day job and going into the full time psychic biz anytime soon.

Now, if you're not an Ido worshipper, let's see what the other broadcast networks are offering up in competition.

The soon to be one mini-networks UPN and WB, most likely just biding time until the debut of the CW network in September, are just going with repeats of regular series, Gilmore Girls and America's Next Top Model. NBC ain't putting up much of a fight either, slapping up a lame clip show called Most Outrageous Moments. I wonder if it includes the outrageous moments when some moron at the network thought Deal or No Deal and Celebrity Cooking Showdown sounded like good ideas.

CBS is giving us The Academy of Country Music Awards. As far as I'm concerned, there hasn't been any country music worth awarding, or even listening to, for about twenty years. The only possible reason to watch this is that it's being hosted by the lovely Reba McEntire. She's also the only real reason to watch the otherwise astoundingly average sitcom that bears her name. Reba isn't on the CW's announced fall schedule, but there's a possibility that it may return in mid-season.

Finally, ABC is airing Stephen King's Desperation. With the ratings Idol's been getting this season, the title Desperation is an apt one for anything seeking to compete with it. TV Guide describes this King outing as a story about "...a small town plagued by a big evil." I used to read a lot of King's books (before Misery, a book so awful that it turned me off the man's writing for life) and that description could cover about half of his total output. So, it doesn't appear that Desperation is going to offer anything particularly original, but if you're a King fan, "more of the same" is what you expect from him.

Looking back over the shows I've just described, I can see that, Idol or no Idol, except for Gilmore Girls, which is one of my all time favorite shows, I probably wouldn't watch any of that crap anyway.