Blak and Brew

My curiousity got the best of me at Kroger just a little while ago, and while my cat is unharmed, my tastebuds are suffering a little bit.

I brewed the last of my coffee this morning, so it was imperative that I obtain more before heading back northward on High Street to my apartment after work. I needed food for the cat, too, but replenishing my caffeine stash was the real priority. The cat can fend for herself if worse comes to worse. Anyway, in the coffee aisle, I came across something called Coca-Cola Blak, which the label described as "A Carbonated Fusion Beverage," whatever the bloody hell that's supposed to be. I had a pretty good idea, though. A quick peek at the ingredients confirmed my suspicions and revealed that Blak contains "coffee extract." In short, the term "fusion beverage" appears to mean cola mixed with coffee.

Thinking that anything that contains caffeine can't be all bad, I picked up a four pack to check it out. Unfortunately, Blak tastes pretty much the way you'd expect it to from my description of it--like Coke with coffee in it. It's not totally gross, but it's definitely a weird mixture of flavors. I guess you'd call it an aquired taste. If I wanted to waste more of my money on this junk to aquire it, that is, which I don't think I do.

Adding to the weirdness of the flavor is that Blak is sweetened with aspartame, the artificial sweetener known commercially as Nutra-Sweet. With all the other great scientific advances of our modern civilization, why can't mankind produce an artificial sweetener that doesn't leave your mouth feeling like you need to gargle. Y'know...another thing that science has been unable to duplicate is the flavor of bananas. Any candy or dessert I've ever had that included "artificial banana flavoring" tasted absolutely nothing like bananas.

Well, we, that is I, seem to have wandered off topic, as I sometimes do when I compose these entries off the top of my head. Back on the subject, the inclusion of artificial sweetener in Blak sort of puzzles me. Obviously, the whole point of this concoction is to produce a nice caffeine buzz in the drinker, so why not use real sugar--twice the normal amount to boot--and pile a good sugar rush on top.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go run a couple of laps around Clintonville. All that caffeine is starting to really kick in.