Idol Gossip: Ding Dong! Hairboy's Gone!

Couldn't post yesterday. The time that I wasn't busy preparing for this weekend's SPACE show was spent in gleeful jumping up and down for joy after Wednesday's American Idol results show!

As our 38th president famously said upon stumbling, literally and metaphorically, into the Oval Office: "Our long national nightmare is over."

Yes, my faith in the judgment of the American people has been, at least partially, restored. (Though I still have no idea why Blake ended up in the bottom 3 rather than Chris Richardson, who gave an utterly ridiculous performance on Tuesday.)

Sanjaya has left the building!!!

I have never been so glad to be wrong. I was really afraid that Lakisha was going home this week, but good taste and sense finally prevailed to send Hairboy packing. (Even though he went out by changing the lyrics of "Something To Talk About" to "Let's give 'em something to talk about; other than hair," the truth is that there really wasn't anything else to discuss about this kid, certainly not his singing talent.)

So, it looks like Simon Cowell will not be replaced by David Hasselhoff next season. Cowell, as you must know, had threatened to quit if Sanjaya actually won. (The idea of the Hoff replacing him is something I thought of just now.) I have only one question for the Cowell: If Hairboy sucked that much, what the bloody @#!% was he doing there in the first place? You, and Squiddly and Diddley--as you referred to Randy and Paula a couple weeks back, sent him to Hollywood, then passed him on to the top 24. If you didn't think he should win, why on Earth did you let him go that far? Had he gone all the way, Si, you three would have had only yourselves to blame. So quit your damned bitching and moaning already, ok?

So, what's next for Sanjaya? What is the next career move for someone who has risen to national, even international, fame by making of himself a public laughingstock? Why, the answer should seem obvious: VH-1!

After spoiling the Idol tour this summer, expect Sanjaya and his hair to either show up on The Surreal Life or in his own show; Life With Sanjaya or something like that.

Well, the sideshow is over now, and the curtain truly rises on the main attraction: The rise of Melinda Doolittle to becoming the next American Idol!