Today's Top Story...Well Not Quite, but I Care About It

From today's Columbus Dispatch:
Strickland, Dann seek near-total ban on wagering games
Governor also says he'd veto instant-racing bill

Frankly, this does not bode well for my dream of one day opening a poker room in the South Campus Gateway.

Preview of CBS Fall Schedule

So, I was just looking at CBS' fall schedule and I must say I am not impressed.

True, they did have the good sense to cancel The Class, but they have renewed Rules of Engagement, which I haven't seen, but hear is even worse. True, I probably shouldn't take other reviewers' words for it, but the truth is that I like very little that's on network TV anyway, so I probably wouldn't like this. Besides, it's got David Spade in it, and who really wants to see anything he's in.

One of their new shows is called Moonlight and it concerns a vampire who works as a private investigator. Didn't we see this done before and--most likely---better almost two decades ago as Forever Knight? Just last Thursday I decried the lack of originality in "reality" TV, but why should that genre be any different than the rest of the schedule.

Meanwhile, Cane stars Jimmy Smits and looks like Falcon Crest set on a sugar cane plantation.

Kid Nation strands 40 kids in a ghost town and tasks them with building their own civilization. Obviously inspired by the "bonk-bonk" episode of the original Star Trek. (Actually titled "Miri")

Then there are a couple of new sitcoms that look too lame to even bother dissing. They'll both last one season tops.

The good thing about CBS being the No. 1 network is that most of their schedule will be returning shows and they're only rolling out a handful of these lame turkeys. Poor NBC, which has probably slid into sixth place (out of five) by now will probably have to pretty much start from scratch.

Well, I'm done bitching for now.

See ya later!

AAAAARGH! It's "Pirate Master"

The second episode of the new "reality" series Pirate Master airs tonight on CBS.

If I were speaking to you now, you would be correct in noting a certain lack of enthusiasm in my tone. I've been turning in early every night this week and see no need to quit tonight.

Originality in "reality" TV these days is about as rare as honesty in a politician or mental stability in a cartoonist. Just about every show since Survivor is just a varitation on the basic premise of a group of strangers gathered together and eliminated one by one until only one remains to walk off with the prize.

Pirate Master, however, is a particularly egregiously derivative. It plays out like a Mulligan's stew of elements borrowed from Survivor, The Amazing Race, Big Brother and the last couple of summer blockbusters starring Johnny Depp. I wouldn't be surprised if the "pirates" are eventually forced to sing while the "captain" and his "mates" judge them.

You get the point. It sucks. No use wasting anymore cyberspace belaboring the point. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

The Question of Sanjaya's "Friend"

We know turn our attention once again to the "Sanjaya Installation" video that popped up on YouTube a couple of weeks ago and which I embedded here last Wednesday. We leave aside the question of the true identity of Sanjaya Malakar/Bill Vendall/John Galt/Whoever and consider instead the gender identity of the person in behind Sanjaya/Vendall.

Ok, I thought upon first seeing this video, and I still believe it to be true, that this was a woman. But many people apparently think it's a man. The poster of the version of the "Sanjaya Installation" that first saw on Entertainment Weekly's site and used here introduces it by saying that "Bill Vendall and his gay friend announce that Sanjaya was a fraud." A comment on another poster's version of the video began. "Those two fags..." (I, of course, read no further. I have enough intolerant thoughts of my own--mostly directed at my co-workers--that I need read no one else's hate speech.)

So, the question is: Effeminate man or androgynous woman; which is it?

Take another look at the clip and tell me what you think.

Re-Living My Childhood via YouTube

Video "Week" continues, because, quite frankly, I just don't feel like writing anything. If I did feel like writing anything, it would be rant about how I hate horses, which would certainly not endear me to my niece Tamara, (They're stupid, ugly, smelly beasts and if I never see another damned one it'll be too soon...) and really has nothing to do with anything, especially not why I took a month off from updating this blog.

Ok, I'm ranting, so let's take a deep breath and turn to You Tube.

YouTube's great for reliving your childhood, especially if, like me, you spent 86% of that childhood plopped in front of a TV set. While poking around the site recently I found the following old commercial for what was at the time my favorite breakfast cereal, endorsed by what is, to this day, one of my favorite cartoon characters.

I really miss Pink Panther Flakes. I love the way they turned the milk pink.

In Memory of "The Big Banana": Charles Nelson Reilly

Charles Nelson Reilly died last week at age 76 and in the wake of his passing there have been fond remembrances of his years as a regular on Match Game, his role as the real estate agent on The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (which, to be frank, he was the only reason to watch), and even his over the top portrayal of Hoo Doo on Lidsville, but overlooked has been one of his most memorable and bizarre roles of the 1970's, that of the "Big Banana" in commercials for Bic Banana pens.

As part of The Word's Video Week, and as tribute to one of the favorite entertainers of my childhood, here are two examples of some of Reilly's finest work:

Here's the all-singing/all dancing version:

Now For the Educational Portion of our Program...

Video Week continues with my personal favorite of all the "Multiplication Rock" segments: