Standing Up to Studio 60

TV SQUAD: Studio 60 needs more Lauren Graham

Scroll down and read my comment (#19), in which I defend the honor of the city in which I live and blog.

Dummies and Crazies

Seen at the Whetstone branch of the Columbus library--yet another book we do not need: Politics For Dummies.

Speaking of politics, I've made it no secret that I'm seriously considering packing up and moving back to Linesville, Pennsylvania if Ken Blackwell is allowed to become governor of Ohio, but frankly, other than the fact that he isn't Ken Blackwell, I'm really not sure why I'm voting for Ted Strickland, either.

Take a look at the picture of the two main gubernatorial candidates that accompies this Columbus Dispatch article about Monday's debate.

If you ask me, they both look kind of crazy.

Hell, the more I think about it, the more likely it becomes that I might just end up voting for Green candidate Bob Fitrakis.

WASTED POTENTIAL in ALIVE! Week 5: When Did We Get A Cat?

Pane 1:

Bill and Sheila in bed. Killer, the cat, is napping on headboard.

Sheila: Billy, I've been thinking.

Bill: hnf?

Sheila: About "us."

Panel 2:

Close-Up Sheila

Sheila: Next week, it'll be three years that we've been together. Maybe it's time to take our relationship to the "next level."

Panel 3:

Bill: I agree.

Sheila: You do?

Bill: Sure. So, do you want to "go steady?"

Panel 4:

Sheila hits Bill with pillow...Wakes up Killer.

Sound FX: THWUFF

Panel 5:

Close up on Bill..off panel, Sheila storms out of bedroom.

Sound FX: SLAM!

Panel 6:

Bill: What's she so upset about?

Killer: Nnyow.

Bill: I don't know either. {When did we get a cat?}*

Bill is my favorite character in the strip, as well as my favorite to draw....Twenty years after I first created him for Norm's Dorm, the strip I did for the Clarion University of Pennsylvania's Clarion Call, I'm still discovering aspects of his character that surprise me.

I created this strip to give Bill a little more time in the spotlight and explore his relationship with Sheila (another carry over from Norm's Dorm) a little.

Also--"When did we get a cat?" is a running gag in the strip. Basically, whenever Bill sees Killer, he says, or thinks, it. I know such a gag can get old quickly, and I've only used it in two strips of the over 60 that I've drawn.

By the way, this is one of the many early strips that I redrew a couple of years ago, and in the original version Sheila wasn't wearing the nightgown.

(* "{}" indicate thought balloon)

Bottom of "The Class"

After three weeks of watching the new CBS sitcom The Class, I still can't tell you any of the characters' names. This is partly because there are so many of them, but mostly because I just don't care enough about any of them to even bother trying to learn their names. Quite frankly, if The Class is, as its promo spots claim, being hailed by critics as "the best new sitcom of the season," then all the others must really suck, and maybe those who have been declaring the form dead are on to something.

The Class is horribly unfunny and, even worse, totally predictable.

For example, in the first episode the players are gathered together by Ethan (I'm checking the CBS web-site for the names, which I'll most likely promptly forget upon posting this), who gives a surprise party for his fiance, whom he first met in third grade, and invites members of his third grade class, many of whom he hasn't seen since then and have completely forgotten about him. Predictably, the party goes horribly wrong when Ethan's fiance breaks up with him and one of his former classmates, Kat, says, "This is the best party ever."

Even if that line hadn't been in all the promos for the show, you would have known that someone was going to say it, because it's the standard joke that lazy, uninspired, unimaginative sitcom writers have their uninspired, unimaginative characters say when such an uninspired, unimaginative event occurs in their uninspired, unimaginative story.

It doesn't get any better from there, so I won't annoy you with any more examples.

It would seem that viewers aren't as impressed with The Class as CBS hoped they would be, since beginning this Monday, the network has switched its timeslot with the equally lame How I Met Your Mother. Apparently The Class' ratings weren't strong enough to justify keeping it in the lead off spot for the night. Unfortunately, they apparently do justify keeping this steaming pile of crap on the air.

It's almost enough to make me willingly watch Deal Or No Deal.

But not quite.

E-Mail Scam Warning...

So, today I recieved this e-mail:

FROM SAMUEL ORIAKU (ESQ) & ASSOCITTIES
NO 2043 BULVARD LOME-TOGO THANKS
FOR CO-OPRATIVE WITH THIS CHAMBER

Attention,

I am Barrister.Samuel Oriaku,a solicitor atlaw,personal attorney to Mr.Robort Tomczak, a national Of your country,A contractor Here in Lome Republic of Togo. Herein after shall be referred to as my client. On the 21st of April 2002,my client, his wife and their only daughter were involved in auto crash along Ecowas express road.All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost there lives.Since then I have made several enquiries to your embassy here to locate any of my clients extended relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts,I decided to track his last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you.I have contacted you to assist in repartrating the fund valued at US$16.5 million left behind by my late client before it gets confisicated by the finance comapany where this huge amount was deposited. The said Finance Company has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have his account confisicated within the next fourteen official working days. Since I have been unsuccesfull in locating the relatives for over 2years now, I seek the consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceaced since you have the same last names, so that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you.Therefore, on receipt of your positive response, we shall then discuss the sharing ratio and modalities for transfer.I have all necessary information and legal documents needed to back you up for the claims. All I require from you is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through.I guarantee that this will be executed under legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law,I also assured you once again that their is no error or any consequence that will arise during the execution of this transaction as long as you will only fellow my instructions/Advise.
Please get back to me Immedetly Bear in mind that this proposal is 100% risk free.

Best regards.
Barrister Samuel Oriaku(ESQ).

Sounded kinda fishy...After all, a real lawyer, even a foreign one, would spell better than that...So I copied the name "Samuel Oriaku" and popped it into Google, and on an Internet Fraud message board, I found that someone had posted the exact same e-mail...

Needless to say I will not be responding to "Samuel Oriaku (ESQ)" and definitely not sending him the ridiculous fee he would have asked for to "process my claim" or something.

If you should recieve a similar e-mail, just delete the damned thing.

Remember, pretty much all e-mails like this are scams.

WASTED POTENTIAL in ALIVE! Week 4

Okay, since I'm unable to post the actual strip here, I'm gonna try describing the strip so that you have some clue what I'm commenting on.

By the way, while most of the Alive! strips have appeared in previous self-published comics, this week's strip has never been seen anywhere by anyone.

Panel One:

(Norm and Bill sitting on couch--like always. Amy standing behind couch)

Norm: I had a great idea for a strip today while I was at work.

Amy: I hope you wrote it down this time.

Bill sneezes.

Panel Two:

Norm: Of course. I wrote it on a napkin. It's right...

Bill sniffles and reaches for napkin lying on coffee table.

Panel Three:

Bill and Norm

Norm:...here?

Bill blows his nose

SFX: HONK!

Panel Four:

Norm and Bill look at each other.

Panel Five:

Bill: What?

Norm: Oh, nothing.

(Yeah...it's just not the same)

Anyway, like Norm, I work at a fast food restaurant and when an idea for a strip strikes me while I'm working I will write it down on whatever paper is handy(napkins, bags, etc..) so that I don't forget it before I get a chance to draw it up.

Fortunately, the event the depicted in this strip is just a scenario that I thought would be funny (it is a comic strip, after all) and has never really happened to me. (I generally wait 'til after I draw the strip to use the napkin to blow my nose.)

I Shot Up With The Sheriff

I didn't post anything yesterday because I just couldn't think of anything to write about. None of the entertainment news stories I read provided me with any inspiration....Then this morning...

Let me back up here.

One of the stories I came across yesterday concerned Eric Clapton, who is considering resuming playing his classic hit "Cocaine" in his concerts. Apparently, he stopped playing it after he got off the drugs a few years ago because he was concerned about the "message" it was sending. Now, however, he's talked himself into seeing it as an anti-drug song and may, in the near future, play it in concert again.

Then this morning, I heard Clapton's version of Bob Marley's "I Shot the Sheriff." I wonder, does Clapton still play this one in concert? Isn't he concerned about the "message" that a song about gunning down an officer of the law is sending? Or is he in favor of shooting cops (and sheriffs) as long as you're not high at the time?

What, Mr. Clapton, is the deal here?