In Remembrance of a Friend Long Gone

I'm almost afraid to read the entertainment news after this weekend. What TV icon of my youth will have died now? Barney Fife, McCloud, Kolchak...all gone. Who's next, Lord? Who's next?

The first death that I remember truly emotionally affecting me was that of Wally Cox. It was 1973 and I was seven.

By the early 70's, the former Mr. Peepers and voice of Underdog had gone where stars at the end of their careers went in those days; he'd become a regular on Hollywood Squares. Squares had developed by that time a more or less permanent roster of semi-retired actors which included center square Paul Lynde, Rose Marie, Charlie Weaver (a.k.a. Cliff Arquette) and Cox.

I watched Squares whenever I was home during the day (I did have school after all) and Cox and the others were almost always there. They entertained me, made me laugh, and their day in, day out presence in my life provided a certain sense of stability. I felt closer to Wally Cox than to many people with whom I actually interacted on a daily basis, including most of my family.

Then he was gone. I was shaken, stunned. It was the first time in my life I truly understood the nature and dread finality of death. He was the first person I ever mourned for. I eventually came to understand something else about death, that, despite it, life goes on, just as the original Hollywood Squares would go on for nine years after Cox died.

Sometimes, like right now, I still miss Wally Cox...and Paul Lynde and Charlie Weaver and the old Hollywood Squares.

Dennis Weaver (1924-2006)

God! This week is turning out to be a total bummer.

Before I update the blog every day, I usually take a look at the headlines on the Columbus Dispatch's homepage to see if there's anything going on that I might want to comment sagely on. Well, today I see that Dennis Weaver died on Friday, his death coming on the same day as the passings of Don Knotts and Darren McGavin, which hit the news yesterday.

I see that all the obits have headlines identifying Weaver as a star of Gunsmoke, on which he starred as Chester, a deputy of James Arness' Matt Dillon, which is probably how people of my mother's generation will always remember him. For me, and I would suspect most people my age (I'm 40, by the way), he is best known as fish out of water lawman Sam McCloud, a New Mexico Marshall on "special duty" in New York City. The image that sticks in my mind is of McCloud on horseback weaving in and out of the congested New York traffic. A scene like that occurred in every episode and neatly visualized the clash of cultures that was the core of the show's premise and, I suspect, it's appeal to viewers.

In McCloud, Weaver created one of the few truly unique characters in the annals of TV detectives, and even if he hadn't also contributed to the success of TV's longest running primetime drama, that would be enough to earn him a place in TV heaven.

Don Knotts Dies

For most of us, childhood doesn't end suddenly, but by degrees, and today another piece of my childhood slipped away when I heard that Don Knotts, who perfected the character of the nerdy guy who tries to act cooler or tougher than he really is in the TV series The Andy Griffith Show and Three's Company and in films such as The Incredible Mr. Limpet and The Apple Dumpling Gang, died Friday.

Stuck, for the most part, in supporting roles, Knotts transcended his second banana status on The Andy Griffith Show and Three's Company to overshadow those shows' stars and provide some of the very few genuinely funny moments either show could boast. The Incredible Mr. Limpet, a mix of live action and animation which cast Knotts as a man who escapes his unfulfilling life by turning into a fish and going on to aid the Allies in winning World War II, remains, to this day, one of my favorite movies.

A Comic Genius? I wouldn't go that far, but Don Knotts made the most of the gifts he was given to bring smiles to millions and he will be missed.

Another passing of note: TV's original Night Stalker and star of A Christmas Story, Darren McGavin.

Wonder Woman Cancelled Again

In the wake of their latest universe shattering cosmic crossover series, Infinite Crisis, DC Comics is ending both the Flash and Wonder Woman titles, just as they discontinued these heroes' first series two decades ago in the aftermath of the landmark series Crisis On Infinite Earths. I'll probably pick up the final issues, just as I did back in '85. In anticipation, I've been been boning up on my Wonder Woman lore by checking out several trade paperback collections from the Columbus Library. One positive effect of all that reading is that I knew the correct response to a Jeopardy clue that asked for the Greek goddess of "war and wisdom (I wonder why the ancient Greeks ever thought those two things go together.), Athena.

Another thing I have gleened from reviewing these books is that, over the course of this second series, Wonder Woman has been DC's "writer/artist" book, with most of the writers on the title illustrating most if not all of their run. Among the Wonder Woman collections I've recently read are volumes written and illustrated by George Perez, John Byrne and Phil Jimenez. William Messner-Loebs, while he did not illustrate the Wonder Woman stories he wrote, is a talented cartoonist who began his comics career writng and drawing the frontier fable Journey.

Of course, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion that the adventures of these two heroes will continue in new series, most likely launching by the end of the year. You can definitely count on Wonder Woman reappearing, as with a new movie in the works, DC would be foolish not to have a comic on the market to capitalize on it.

Stray Thoughts--Topic: Superman Returns

Upon viewing the teaser trailer for the new Superman flick, one thought, actually a quote from Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, leapt to mind: "This is getting needlessly Messianic."

Now That's Trivia No.3--You Can't Be Cereal

Yes, true believers and seekers of arcane and useless knowledge, it is trivia time once again. (And there was much rejoicing!!) I thought of a great trivia question while I was at work a couple of days ago, but unfortunately forgot to write it down and thus forgot it. Fortunately, however, I have a several months supply of pop culture brain teasers stored in a spiral notebook that never leaves my side.

Today's question is a real headscratcher and you're bound to ask yourself where I ever came across such an obscure bit of information:

Q: What is Cap'n Crunch's full name?

The answer, and the answer to just how I know this, is at, of course, The Answer Blog.

My Last Word On The Cartoon Thing

Now that I've actually seen the cartoons that have caused all the kerfluffle around the world, I want to refine, though not change, my views on the matter. Maybe next time I'll get the whole story before sharing my half-baked opinions with the whole planet, but I doubt it.

I disagree with the American editors and news directors who opted not to show the 'toons, maintaining that simply describing them was enough. Unfortunately, I came away with a number of misconceptions based solely on verbal descriptions, including the false idea that the cartoons were the work of a single artist, when the twelve images are the work of a dozen different sets of hands. (I wonder if the Muslim cleric who put a $ 1 million on the cartoonists heads realizes this. Is it $1 million for the death of all twelve, or $1 million each? And just where is a "cleric" getting $1 million, let alone twelve?) That's why I decided to go ahead and post the "bomb turban" 'toon and a link to the whole set of drawings for the education and enlightenment of my dedicated readers.

I'd also said that the incendiary nature of these cartoons was obscuring their message, but I now realize that that was the message. The Danish editors were attempting to strike a blow for free speech. I still question the wisdom of such a move, and believe they failed to consider the possible consequences when they launched their little experiment.

Furthermore, now that I've seen the things, I'm really not impressed.

Anyway, that's the last I'm gooing to say about the subject at least unless some new and bizarre twist occurs that just begs to be commented on after, of course, I've gotten all the facts.

From now on I'll stick to "Cartoon Controversies" that I'm qualified to comment on, such as: Who would win in a fight between Speedball of Marvel's New Warriors and Cheeks the Toy Wonder?

Now back to the important stuff, like this week's trivia question.

The Dreaded Cartoons

In my previous posts on the so-called "Cartoon Controversy," I was venturing my opinion without ever having seen the offending cartoons. Well, I finally decided to Google "Mohammed Cartoons" and see if I could find them, and find them I did. Furthermore, in a move that is either brave and principled or utterly and completely boneheaded, I have decided to not only link to them, but slap one up right here on The Word From On High. At right is the one most often cited-the "bomb in the turban" cartoon- and The Mohammed Image Archive has the others, plus links to sites with more info and background.

Jeff Stahler and the "Power of Cartoons"

"I'VE GOT A CARTOON & I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!" ironically proclaims Jeff Stahler's cartoon of February 10th in The Columbus Dispatch. Okay, perhaps when I say "ironically" I mean "falsely", but either way the point is that Stahler often does seem afraid, or at least very, very reluctant to truly wield the power he possesses as a nationally syndicated staff editorial cartoonist for big city newspaper.

Now, I like Stahler's art and find of his jokes quite amusing, which is fine for the comics page, where Stahler does a daily panel called Moderately Confused, but I expect a bit more from a cartoon appearing on the editorial page. To me, the important part of the phrase "editorial cartoon" is the word "editorial". The cartoon's purpose is to express an opinion or point of view, to make the reader think, and everything else, the art and the joke, if one is appropriate, is secondary to that purpose.

Stahler's cartoons are rarely thought provoking and hardly ever does he express a point of view or appear to have any opinion of the news event that is his subject that day other than that he can get a few chuckles out of it. He is really little more than a glorified gag cartoonist, sort of the print equivalent of David Letterman or Jay Leno, making jokes about current events and people in the news, all the while carefully avoiding taking a stance on the issues, and being to try not to offend readers, editors, his subjects, or, most importantly, advertisers. As I said, I get enough of that crap from today's mostly bland crop of comic strips and expect a little editorializing on the editorial page.

Live From Nowhere

Ever since the technology to broadcast live remotes became widely available to local TV news operations, news directors have felt they have to justify the expense of all this fancy-schmancy equipment by "going live" with almost every single story, no matter whether or not anything is actually happening at the remote location, which many times, such as "team storm coverage", is just outside the studio in the parking lot. This is not a new phenomenon; it's been going on since the 80's, but apparently there are still depths of ridiculousness to be mined in the exploitation of TV technology.

Take, for example, a particularly silly little report which aired yesterday on the WBNS-TV (Channel 10 in Columbus,OH) morning news. The story was about the search for the as yet missing purchaser of a winning lottery ticket worth about $300 million or so in one of those multi-state jackpots. The reporter was live at the Lincoln, Nebraska gas station/convenience store where the ticket was sold where the winner had not yet shown up to claim his or her loot and, as you would expect, especially at 6:00 in the a.m., absolutely nothing newsworthy was going on. However, the reporter decided to take advantage of the location by doing some shopping and spent the rest of her time showing Chuck and Heather back in the studio what she'd bought, which included an oversized travel coffee mug, a bag of popcorn and a can of Spam.

Yes, this kind of crap takes up precious airtime on local news while the rampant corruption in our state government goes virtually unreported and unchallenged.

More Cartoonish Thoughts

You know, when I set out to comment on the "Cartoon Controversy" last week, I quickly realized that, as Nadim Shehadi, identified as "a Middle East analyst at Chatham House in London", said in the February 6 Christian Science Monitor:

"This is not about the cartoons themselves. There was a lot of tension between the West and Muslims because of Afghanistan, Iraq, and Patestine. This is just the spark that set it off."

Of course, even though I've followed this story pretty closely, that by no means makes me an expert on Middle East affairs or Islam, but I do consider my self somewhat of an expert on cartoons, so that is why my comments centered on the cartoons themselves and may have seemed, at least they did to me, a bit shallow. Concerning the deeper issues involved, I feel the readers who left comments on that post, Jack Bertram and Eric Clark, had more insightful things to say than I did.

I certainly don't think that the cartoonist bares sole responsibility for this mess, as I may have seemed to imply. He could not, after all, have anticipated the reaction, though he, and his publishers, must have known there'd be some negative reaction. I mean, isn't Salmon Rushdie still in hiding? Now, this guy's got a price on his head, as I heard recently that a Muslim cleric has offered a $1,000,000 for his death.

The most bizarre development of last week was an Iranian newspaper soliciting cartoons about the Holocaust in response to the Danish cartoons, and one of the first entries received was attributed a famous Australian cartoonist who denied that the cartoon is his work and calls it an effort to discredit him. Or maybe it's the Italian government minister who was forced to resign after parading around in a T-Shirt with one of the cartoons on it. No, that's not bizarre, it's just stupid. Free speech is one thing, but that's incitement.

Stray Thoughts: Topic: President's Day

Do you suppose that there is any significance to the fact that we honor the past and present holders of nation's highest office and underground-dwelling rodents in the same month?

We Can Put This Behind Us...But Don't Turn Your Back On Dick

After posting every day for the past two weeks, I finally took yesterday off. Likewise, Dick Cheney took a well deserved rest this weekend. Shooting your friends in the face and then dodging the press and American people who think they have some sort of "right to know" or some such B.S. takes a lot out of anyone, especially a guy with a bad heart. Now that his erstwhile hunting partner is out of the hospital and apparently not inclined to sue, Dick can get back to the important business of planning the invasion of Iran, authorizing the release of classified information and searching for that secret plan to repeal the Bill of Rights and cancel the Presidential elections that Spiro Agnew was rumored to have back in the days before he resigned in disgrace.

I think Mark Shields hit it on the head when he said, on the Newshour on Friday, that this incident, while its news value is over, will live on in "Cheney Lore." I'm sure the next time a political rival criticizes the Veep, one of the late night talk show hosts will quip that Cheney has "invited him on a hunting trip."

Y'know, when I first heard about this "hunting accident," I remembered hearing earlier that Cheney sometimes went "hunting" with Supreme Court Justice Scalia and I wondered if Dick was just warming up to give his boy W another shot..er..chance to put a conservative on the Court.

Also, I hear they were hunting quail--or was it "Quayle"? Has anyone heard from Danny-Boy lately, or is his head stuffed, mounted and hung in a place of honor above the fireplace in one of Cheney's "undisclosed locations"? After all, W's presidency has been all about settling Daddy's old scores, and Dan the Potatoe Man was a huge albatross around Papa's scrawny neck.

Thank you For Not Caring

I would like to thank the people of America for their indifference, and for, through said indifference, proving that I was right in my post of last Sunday which contended that nobody, at least in America, really gives half a crap about the Olympics anymore.
An article on the front page of Thursday's USA Today Life section reveals that the Olympics are losing the ratings race to a contest people really care about, American Idol, and that NBC's ratings for these games are the lowest of any Olympiad since 1988.
The article contends that part of the problem may be that "this year's Olympics lack a compelling story...", which goes along with the point I was making. After all, compelling stories need good villains and the Soviet Union was the second greatest villain of the 20th century. the top villain of the 21st century (and you know who you are, Osama) doesn't field an Olympic team, though if he did, I bet they'd be a shoo-in for gold in the 500 Meter Suicide Relay, in which, after passing the baton to the next runner, you blow yourself up.

Several Million Great Big Dollars

The old adage that there's no such thing as bad publicity seems to be holding true for author James Frey.
Despite all the controversy and criticism concerning the blending of fact and fiction in his so-called "memoir" A Million Little Pieces which led to a very public denunciation and dressing down by no less a personage than The Big O, Oprah Winfrey, herself, the book remains high on USA Today's list of Best Selling Books, clocking in at No. 6 on this week's tally.
Yes, brothers and sisters, it is a great country where anyone can lie, cheat and swindle his or her way to fame, fortune or high political office.

Now That's Trivia No. 2--Marvel Math

This week's question isn't exactly a "trick" question but it's somewhat tricky.

Q: If the Silver Age Marvel Comics Super-Villain teams the Frightful Four (from Fantastic Four) and the Sinister Six (from The Amazing Spider-Man) teamed up, how many villains would that be?

The answer is over at The Answer Blog.

The Most Dangerous Veep

Okay, now I could not have been the only sentient being in this country who, upon hearing of the so-called "hunting accident" involving Vice President Dick Cheney, a vicious little prick who has no compunctions about hurling the "F-Word" around the hallowed halls of Congress and would probably just as soon kill you as look at you, immediately thought, "Accident my ass!"
I read that if the man Cheney shot had died, the VP could have been charged with negligent homicide. I can just imagine the Veep being hustled out of White House in handcuffs by the D.C. cops, head held high and defiantly shouting obscenities at the top of lungs to the cops, press corps, and assorted onlookers, then, when asked for a plea at his arraignment, declaring proudly, "One hundred percent not f***ing guilty!"
Ironically, it may have been the Veep's own poor health that saved his hapless victim's life. It seems that Cheney always travels with a full medical team in case his black little heart should give out.
The wretched criminal bastard got lucky this time.

Hold'em Raid Update

Finally, got a reply to my post on Meet-Up.com about the raid on Conti's Pub & Club last Monday. Here's a bit of it:

...there (are) allegations that money had been bet 'under the table', and if that is so, then this would have been the cause of the bust.

Well, that changes things. If laws were broken, then laws were broken--no matter how you may feel about said laws. (Personally, I think it's hypocritical for state governments to ban poker yet sponsor a lottery.)

Of course, if the Big Cheeses of the Rat Pack are convinced their league is perfectly legal, why postpone it? If you ain't doing nothing wrong, you ain't got nothing to fear. At least that's the way it's supposed to work in this country.

The Vast Valentine's Day Conspiracy

This might strike you as--what's the word I'm looking for? Oh, yea--completely freakin' nuts, but I have long thought that Valentine's Day is a conspiracy against me, designed to make me more depressed than I, by nature, usually am by reminding that I am, always have been and always will be unloved and utterly alone in the world. The conspiracy is run by the Hallmark corporation which, I have concluded, is headed by a cabal of my ex-girlfriends and other women from my past led by a particularly evil wench from my college days who I shall refer to here only by her initials: C.K. (but if you're reading this, "C.K.", you know who you are and now you know that I'm onto you and your nefarious scheme!)
Crazy? No more crazy than believing that a "lone gunman" with a "magic bullet" killed JFK.

Must..Stay..Awake...Need...Gilmore Girls

I certainly hope that the recently announced merger of the UPN and WB mini-networks means that Gilmore Girls will finally be on at a decent hour here in Columbus, OH.
You see, the same local station, channel 53, airs both networks, but, being owned by UPN's parent company, Viacom, they're primarily a UPN outlet and the WB shows get pushed off to odd hours on the weekends and late evenings.
Gilmore Girls, for example, airs at 11 p.m. Tuesday nights, and as I work very, very early in the mornings, that's just a little too late for me to stay up most nights. So, as much as I love the show, I don't get to see it as much as I'd like.
Last I saw, Luke had just agreed to Lorelei's suggestion to postpone the wedding, which was so obviously a mistake, since it was pretty clear to even a clueless male like me that she didn't really mean it.