Another "Guy Stuck In Chimney" Story

Colorado man gets stuck in his chimney

You should know by now, readers, that I love a good man stuck in a chimney story more than just about anything, and this certainly is the right time of year for such foolishness, and I will not fail to bring such important news to your attention. This latest incident, however, does differ in two important ways from the chimney related items I've reported on in the past. First, it takes place in Colorado, rather than California, and, more significantly, it appears that, in this case, the man was still wearing his pants when extracted from the chimney.

By The Seat of Their Pants

The great state of California has long held a reputation as a place where strange people do strange things for strange reasons, perhaps coming from its position as center of the American entertainment industry. The latest bit of weirdness from the Left Coast, however, has nothing to do with celebrities or even Scientology, showing that odd behavior is not the exclusive province of Tom Cruise.
California appears to be suffering a minor epidemic of men found stuck in chimneys without their pants. You may remember this item that I clued you into a few weeks ago:

Santa? No! It's Naked chimney guy!

It concerns a man who got himself locked out of his house and attempted to gain entry via the chimney, first shedding his clothes lest they slow his descent.

On its own, its an anomaly; a weird but meaningless curiosity. But yesterday, I came across this item:

'Stargazer' Says He Fell Down Chimney

Now, it's a trend.

The latest incident involves a man who claims he was up on a roof to "look at stars" when he tumbled into the chimney and got stuck near the bottom. Thinking quickly, he removed his pants and began waving them around in order to set off the home's motion detectors and summon aid. Eventually, it worked, and he was subsequently arrested on suspicion of burglary.

The story he told about being up on the roof to look at stars doesn't wash, since his arrest for burglary would seem to indicate that this was not his house, thus why would he be stargazing from that particular roof? Maybe he meant that he took a few moments to check out the sky before going about his business of breaking in to the home and fell down the chimney moments before he would have jumped down it anyway.

So, what's behind this rash of pantsless men stuck in chimneys? Me--I blame global warming, the all purpose villain for the new millenium. Or maybe Californians really are as nuts as the rest of the country thinks they are. I do have an uncle out there who, in the few times I've actually seen him, has never quite struck me as being totally sane. Whatever the cause, I shall keep you abreast of further developments on the pantsless guy in chimney front as I hear of them.

Random Bits Of Weirdness

Frankly, friends, I got nada today, so I've been poking around looking for a couple of stories to make a few short, snarky cheapshots at.

Before, I get to that, I want to correct a mistake I made in Sunday's post on giant carrots. Apparently, according to frequent Word From On High commenter and annoying know it all Eric Clark, there are, in fact, carrots featured in the Veggie Tales videos. Being a forty year old man with no kids, I haven't seen the entire Veggie Tales canon, and was basing my erroneous conclusion on the few videos that I've seen with my sister's girls. However, the appearance of a carrot in what is ostensibly a humorous setting does reinforce the main point of the entry.

Moving on, here are some stories I found while searching desperately for something to write about today:

'Idol's Ryan and Paula Disagree on Feud

It seems Ryan Seacrest and Paula Abdul aren't on speaking terms these days. No big loss, really. I'd be surprised if either of them actually had anything interesting to say. And I'll bet Simon wishes that both of them would not talk to him.

Next up: Did you know that we are in the midst of TV Turn-Off Week? This week, until Sunday, we are encouraged to turn off our idiot boxes and do something besides sit on the couch and stare at the tube, such as read or even, as unthinkable as it may seem, talk to each other. Yeah, I know. Sounds crazy to me, too. Personally, I plan to pay as much attention to TV Turn-off Week as I do the Great American Smokeout; that is to say, none at all. My plans for this evening actually include enjoying a cheap cigar while watching American Idol and wishing Randy Jackson would just stop talking to anyone.

Michael Jackson eyeing 50 Cent collaboration

Gee, remember when it was hot young artist Micheal Jackson that nearly washed up former superstar Paul McCartney turned to in order to give his sagging career a boost. The shoe, it would seem, is now firmly tied onto the other foot.

Finally, there's really nothing I can say about this story, as it's ridiculous enough on its own:

Santa? No! It's Naked chimney guy!

A man in San Francisco was locked out of his home and attempted to get in by going down the chimney, after first removing all his clothes in order to reduce friction and make his descent easier. Didn't work. He became trapped in the chimney and police, thinking a burglary was in progress, had to be called to remove him.